


Jamie Isn't Queer... Or Is He?

by HPFangirl71



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Canon, Closeted Character, Coming Out, Denial, Drunk Sex, First Time, Harry Potter Next Generation, Hogwarts, Homophobic Language, M/M, Underage Drinking, Underage Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-13
Updated: 2012-05-13
Packaged: 2017-11-05 07:19:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/403819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HPFangirl71/pseuds/HPFangirl71
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This was my entry for the HP_Harlequin Fest at LiveJournal. The point of the fest was to take the back of a romance cover and use it as a prompt for a fanfic.<br/>Jamie isn't queer like his father... so why can't he get that one night of sex with his best mate Scorpius out of his head?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Jamie Isn't Queer... Or Is He?

**Author's Note:**

> This story contains slash sex so Please Do Not Flame!! Also this is told from James' POV so the language is a bit crass... I apologize if it offends anyone!! Also here is the blurb from the back of the book I used... obviously the names and pertinent information were changed for the fest...  
>  _It started with one kiss. Which led to another. And another. And then to a mind-blowing night of intimacy James Potter can’t forget. He can’t stop thinking about the gorgeous, smart, compassionate man who tilted his world. Can’t stop seeing warm, sexy eyes gazing at him with breath-stealing intensity. James tries to tell himself to let the incident go, move on, and chalk it up to a life experience. After all, what transpired between him and his best friend and roommate, Scorpius Malfoy, can never happen again. Scorpius is gay, and James...isn’t. At least he’s never thought he was before. But now he’s torn and confused and not sure what the night with Scorpius meant—for either of them. Already stressed about Newt exams and his difficult family situation, James doesn’t know how to deal with the conflicting feelings he’s having. And the one person he’s always been able to talk to about everything, and who’s always been there for him, is the very person he’s been avoiding for the past week because he doesn’t know how to face him after waking up in his bed. Afraid he might have already screwed up his and Scorpius' friendship beyond repair, James is haunted even more by the backlash he could face if he admits to Scorpius, or even to himself, how much the night they spent together really meant to him. And how much he still wants Scorpius even now..._

**Jamie Isn’t Queer… Or Is He? By HPfangirl71**

It all started with just one kiss…

Just one sweet innocent kiss…

Scorpius had nicked some elf made wine on his last visit to his parents and since he and James were the only ones in the dorm who hadn’t gone home for the winter break, they’d decided to open it up. One moment they were laughing and drinking and the next their mouths were pressed together in the most intimate of ways. James had been shocked at his friend’s sudden nerve but the kiss itself had been rather nice… actually more than just nice if James were to be perfectly honest. James wasn’t queer but he’d enjoyed the kiss so much that he’d allowed Scorpius to kiss him again and again. He’d just chalked it up to a lovely experiment of sorts. 

The first kiss had been timid and unsure but the ones that followed were bold and exploring. Their lips were a tangle of tongues and teeth. Their hands were caressing each other’s faces and hair. It was no different to James than snogging any of the many girls he’d been with. James wasn’t queer; this was all just another drunken experiment. Yet when it had become obvious that the experiment would go further than some furtive snogging, James had done nothing to stop it. 

In fact, James had welcomed Scorpius’ hands sliding beneath his shirt and his own hands had been blatant in their exploration of bare flesh as well. James had seen his best mate shirtless before, it was rather hard to avoid when they shared a dorm. So why had James been so awestruck upon opening up the buttons on Scorpius’ expensive silk shirt? The sight of all those muscles had even helped to make his cock hard. James knew there was no need to be alarmed by the fact he was suddenly turned on by his friend. He was a teenage boy and most anything could make his prick throb, especially when he was drunk. He wasn’t queer and this was just another experiment.

The events of that night had progressed pretty fast from there. In fact it wasn’t long before James had found himself lying on his back in Scorpius’ bed. It hadn’t been hard to let the boy suck his cock. James had been particularly turned on by then and it wasn’t like he’d never had anyone suck his prick before. Sure, they’d all been girls in the past but having Scorpius wedged between his thighs, his mouth enveloping his cock with warm wet heat; it hadn’t really felt any different. After all, James wasn’t queer, this was just an experiment.

It turned out Scorpius was rather talented at cock sucking and he’d had James whining for more. He’d thrust himself hard down the lad’s throat and begged Scorpius to let him fuck him. James wasn’t queer but a hole was a hole and he was horny as hell. No, James wasn’t queer; this was just an experiment, a way to be sure. 

Fucking Scorpius had been amazing…

The only thing James had known about queers and sex were that they did it from behind and in the arse. He’d been shocked as Scorpius had laid himself out next to James on the bed. He’d grabbed a tube of lube and spread his legs open. James had found himself fondling the lad’s prick as Scorpius’ fingers had stretched his hole open, making him slick and ready for James’ cock. It had been so tight that James had barely been able to contain himself. He’d almost come on the spot. He’d gazed into Scorpius’ slate coloured eyes, eyes that were now filled with such lustful longing… and James had again told himself this wasn’t real, he wasn’t queer, it was just an experiment. 

James had fucked a lot of girls but it was nothing like fucking his best mate. There had been an intimate intensity to it that he’d never experienced before. In fact, he’d found himself holding onto and sharing kisses with Scorpius long after they’d stopped their thrusting and both of them were a sticky mess. His fingers had stroked the side of Scorpius’ face and they’d shared a moment of closeness that few people ever shared and even in his drunken haze, James had been frightened just a tiny bit. He’d shrugged it off as the afterglow of great sex… after all he wasn’t queer.

That night had ruined everything between them… now James was barely speaking more than two words to the bloke who’d been his best mate for the better part of seven years. He had awoken in that bed the next morning with his best friend curled up in his arms. He’d woken up too content and too comfortable with the situation. It should have been awkward but instead it had just felt so right that it had scared James shitless. The morning wood he’d sported hadn’t helped to alleviate the feeling of panic any. James wasn’t queer; he shouldn’t be feeling like this. It was then that he’d acted less like a brave Gryffindor and more like the cowardly lion in that Muggle movie his dad had shown them as kids; he’d snuck out and left an unsuspecting Scorpius peacefully sleeping. 

Here it was weeks later and they still hadn’t talked about what had happened between them because James had thrown himself into his NEWTS preparation and successfully avoided his best mate at every turn. He’d avoided him because he was feeling things he knew he shouldn’t. He couldn’t get the taste of Scorpius’ lips out of his head. He couldn’t rid himself of the feeling of Scorpius’ body connected to his. The sound of Scorpius’ soft moans as James had thrust into him now haunted his dreams. Most of all, James couldn’t stop thinking what it’d be like to do it again…

Another week passed, the end of the school year was fast approaching and James couldn’t have been gladder. He just wanted to get his NEWTS done and out of the way so he could graduate Hogwarts and start playing professional Quidditch for the Tornados. He’d be able to put this whole situation with Scorpius Malfoy far behind him. He wasn’t queer and soon he’d forget he ever fucked one. He’d get married to some beauty and have a bunch of kids just like his dad…

Okay, bad analogy James thought to himself. He was actually nothing like his dad. His dad was Harry Potter the great hero. A man who had spent his whole life living a lie and now the family that loved him was paying the price. 

James could still remember the parchment he’d gotten at the beginning of the school year, the one from his mum telling him how his dad was queer and leaving his family for his male lover. He could recall going home for a weekend visit, his mum trying hard to hide the tears and his dad coming to visit, acting like he’d done nothing wrong. James had been expected to go along with the charade, to pretend their whole family wasn’t being ripped apart by his father’s blatant affair. The three of them had pretended but you could still feel the tension in the air. At the end of the visit they’d finally told Lily and Al what was going on. He could still remember their tears…

James refused to let himself get upset by his parents’ drama. The problems at home were even the reason why he’d stayed behind over the winter break. It was why he’d been so keen on getting pissed with Scorpius that night. Well if that didn’t fuck all… James was so intent to avoid his father that he was now making the man’s mistakes. James just wished he had someone to talk to about this whole ordeal but the one person he usually turned to for help with his problems, was the problem. He looked at the latest parchment he’d gotten from his mother and let out a groan as his body slid down the stone wall.

James’ head was buried in his hands which explained why he never heard the other man’s approach…

“Well, well… looks like you ran out of places to hide Jamie” Scorpius said in a sarcastic drawl.

James looked up and let out a sigh of dread. Fuck, could this day get any worse…

“What do you want Scorp?” James grunted out.

“I want us to fucking talk, that’s what I want” Scorpius growled back at him.

“We don’t have anything to talk about” James replied curtly.

“Like fuck we don’t!” Scorpius spat out.

James tried getting up but the other man pushed him down and straddled his lap to keep him from leaving.

“Get off me!” James bellowed at the man.

“No, not until you agree to talk about what happened over the hols”

James looked up into a steely pair of eyes and knew there was no way he was getting out of the confrontation this time. With a bit of resignation he finally agreed.

“Not here though… let’s go somewhere we can talk in private” James said as Scorpius released him.

“Fine… there’s an abandoned classroom around the corner”

James was nervous as they entered the empty room. He budged up on the teacher’s desk and looked over at the boy who’d once been his very best friend.

“What’s going on? Are we not speaking now just because we got drunk together?” Scorpius said in an accusing tone.

James looked at him incredulously. Neither of them had been drunk enough to not remember what had happened. Why was Scorpius content to pretend nothing had gone on that night?

“It’s not the getting drunk together that’s the problem and you know it, Scorpius”

“What the hell Jamie, so we fucked… it’s not a big deal”

James looked up at Scorpius and saw that his friend couldn’t look him in the eye. Perhaps that night had been more to him than he was letting on, so why was he denying it?

“Maybe it was no big deal to you since you go around having it off with blokes all the time but for me it was… it was…” 

Suddenly James was at a loss for words. What exactly had that night been to him? He’d told himself time and time again that it had meant nothing. He wasn’t queer; he couldn’t be queer… he wasn’t his father. He looked into Scorpius’ eyes, so soft and tender as they looked back at him. He could feel himself wanting to reach out and kiss the boy. Instead he shoved him away in anger.

“I’m not queer! Just quit trying to make me like you and get the fuck away from me!” 

Jamie’s words were meant to hurt and they seemed to do their job. Scorpius didn’t say a word, he just walked away. James knew he should go after the other boy but he was too ashamed to follow.

A few days passed in which Scorpius treated James to the silent treatment. All James wanted was to apologize and the blonde was making it virtually impossible. Finally, he was able to corner Scorpius down near the greenhouses.

“Malfoy… Malfoy come on… you can’t not talk to me forever you know” James yelled as he headed toward where the other lad was busy measuring a row of Flitterbloom plants and ignoring his friend.

James was only inches away from Scorpius when the boy finally turned around.

“What the Hell do you want from me?” Scorpius yelled as he faced his friend.

“I came to apologize. I was a complete and utter arse to you the other day. I didn’t mean it, really I didn’t…” James began.

“Then why did you say it?” 

There was hurt in the other boy’s voice and it made James feel guilty for what he’d said and done to him. Looking into his eyes and seeing him in pain made James want so badly to comfort him… to take him into his arms and let his kisses make it all better. Why in Merlin was he having such thoughts? He wasn’t queer; at least he kept telling himself he wasn’t…

“Because I’m confused… I can’t keep that night out of my head and it’s made me wonder if maybe I care for you more than I thought”

The look upon his friend’s face was one of sheer surprise at what James was implying and it made him have to look away.

“Are you saying you think you might be…?” Scorpius let his implication hang in the air unsaid but James caught his meaning.

“To be honest, I don’t know” James whispered softly.

Scorpius breached the small distance between them and placed his hand on James’ shoulder. The gesture was meant to be one of friendship but James felt something else in that touch. He felt the same stirring within that he’d felt since the night they’d spent together. Maybe he was queer… maybe he was just like his father and he’d end up hurting those he loved too. Looking into Scorpius’ hopeful eyes, he knew he’d already begun to do just that…

“I’m so sorry Scorp. I’m sorry I’ve been such a coward that I just couldn’t deal with this” 

Scorpius’ hand travelled from his shoulder to his face and gently he turned James to face him.

“Oh Jamie, it’s alright. The world isn’t going to come to an end just because you decide you might be queer”

“But what if I’m wrong? What if I’ve made a mistake? I don’t want to be like my dad…” James said mournfully.

Scorpius gave him a sad smile before kissing him lightly on the cheek.

“You won’t be wrong… I think your dad’s known he was queer a lot longer than he’s let on. He was just afraid of letting everyone down. You don’t just wake up gay one day; it’s something you’re born with Jamie”

“Then how come I never realized it until now?” he asked.

“Because you were in denial, you were so busy convincing yourself you were straight that you never embraced the feelings that you weren’t” 

James looked at Scorpius and knew he was right. He’d been trying for so long to be the perfect son that he’d been denying his own true feelings. If he were honest with himself, he’d always been attracted in some way or other to Scorpius. He’d always found ways to excuse his mixed feelings. He’d convinced himself that their closeness was just the sign of a great friendship. The physical attraction he’d passed off as teenage hormones. It was like that drunken night when he’d convinced himself it was all just an experiment but secretly he’d been disappointed that it wasn’t something more. James was queer and he’d known it all along, just hadn’t wanted to admit it.

“How do I do this? How do I tell everyone?” he said in a low whisper.

Scorpius kissed him on the lips and his breath ghosted over James’ face warm and comforting as he spoke.

“Don’t worry, we’ll tell them together…”


End file.
